What goes up must come down 21

Iwas trying out a new hobby last weekend. The local aerodrome wasoffering introductory skydiving courses. My instructor gave me allthe proper training, especially the most important rule about when toopen the parachute. As I fell out of the aeroplane I followed theinstructions. I counted to ten and then pulled the ripcord. Thetrouble was, nothing happened. However, I had trained for this and Iknew just what to do. I counted to five and then pulled the secondripcord on the spare parachute. That didn’t work either. I wasn’t sure what to do then. As I fell further towards the ground, I sawanother man coming up towards me. “Excuse me,” I said. “Do you know anything about parachutes?”. “No” he replied. “Do you know anything about gas cookers?”
That wasn’t the first time I had tried a new pastime. I had got half way through a game of water polo when my horse drowned. I had wanted totry out water-skiing but I couldn’t find a lake on a hill. Then Itried tap dancing, but I kept falling in the kitchen sink. Still, I’m always keen to try something new.
Twoof the most popular pastimes for men are fishing and golf. I wentfishing a couple of times with a more experienced friend, but he wasn’t too happy with me. In a case of “beginner’s luck”, wehired a rowing boat and spent about four hours catching fish afterfish. My friend said that we had found the perfect spot and told meto make a note of where it was. The next day he asked me what I haddone to remember the place. “Oh, that was easy” I said. “I marked an X on the side of the boat”. “You idiot!” he replied. “How do you know we’ re going to get the same boat?”
Accordingto tradition, golf is one of the things husbands and wives argueabout the most. I have never played golf though. I did help caddyfor a friend though. Caddying is when you carry their golf clubs and help them find lost golf balls. At one point, about halfway through the game, a line of black funeral cars drove slowly past the golfcourse. My friend stopped, put his club down, took of his hatrespectfully and said: “She was a good wife”.
Anyway, back to my skydiving adventure. The situation wasn’t looking toogood for me, but fortunately there was a large haystack in the fieldbelow me. Unfortunately there was a sharp pitchfork pointing upwardsin the haystack. Fortunately I missed the pitchfork. Unfortunately I missed the haystack.

• Can you find eight
hobbies in the wordsearch?

• What is the difference between riding,
biking,
and cycling?

KEY
• potholing, orienteering, bird watching, bonsai, horse riding, train spotting, canoeing

• Ridingmeans horse riding.
Bikingmeans riding a motorcycle for leisure.
Cyclingmeans riding a bicycle for leisure.

Did you know?
Thesets of bells in a lot of English churches play a melody.
They needone person for each bell and the pastime is called campanology.
Thethree most popular pastimes and hobbies in Britain at the moment aregardening and cooking. Watching and taking part in quizzes (ontelevision and in pubs) is also
very popular.

Glossary
aaerodrome – lądowisko
skydiving – akrobacje spadochronowe
aparachute – spadochron
aripcord – linka wyzwalająca
todrown – utopić
asink – zlew
keen – chętny
apastime – rozrywka
luck – szczęœcie
arowing boat – łódź wiosłowa
toargue – posprzeczać się
afuneral – pogrzeb
ahaystack – stóg siana
apitchfork – widły