Getting a job in Britain: Part six: When things go wrong

A lot of the time you will need to report things that break and things that don’t work properly. Here are some of the more common phrases you may need if you are working in Britain:

General office phrases:
The photocopier’s not working.
Fotokopiarka nie działa
Something’s stuck in the machine. How do you open it?
– Coś zacięło się w fotokopiarce.
Jak się ją otwiera?
It’s run out of paper.
– Skończył się papier.
There’s no toner left.
– Skończył się toner.
Toner is the black powder that
you put in the photocopier instead of ink.

Photocopiers go wrong all the time, and new employees often get the job of doing all the photocopying (when they are not making the tea for all the staff). As a result, it helps if you know something about changing paper, toner and removing things that are stuck in it.

And if you’re using
a computer:
The computer has crashed.
– Komputer się zawiesił.
The screen just went blank.
– Pojawił się czarny ekran.
There’s been a power cut.
– Wysiadło zasilanie.

You’ll know already if you use Windows that not everything runs smoothly if it is on a computer. Again it helps if you are familiar with one if you are looking for a job in an office over the summer.

Other electrical
equipment:
The bulb’s gone.
– Żarówka się przepaliła.
This means the bulb has stopped working, and not that the bulb has disappeared.
It’s overheating.
– To się przegrzewa.
It’s giving off a strange smell.
– To wydaje dziwny zapach.
There’s smoke coming out of it.
– Wydostaje się z tego dym.
Obviously if something is producing smoke then it is time to stand back and call the fire brigade. Their telephone number is 999, the same as the other emergency services.

A few others you
might need:
Where do you keep the instruction manual?
– Gdzie znajduje się instrukcja obsługi?
Is there a tool box here?
– Czy jest tu gdzieś zestaw narzędzi?
I’ll phone a mechanic.
– Zadzwonię po mechanika.
Where’s the first-aid box?
– Gdzie znajduje się apteczka pierwszej pomocy?
This fire extinguisher is empty.
– Ta gaśnica jest pusta.

If you have never used a fire extinguisher before, make sure you read the instructions on the British ones carefully. The don’t always work the same way but to help they have illustrations next to each step. Make sure you use the right one for the job as well. Don’t use a red one (containing water) on an electrical fire.

What should I do if…?
– Co powinienem zrobić, jeśli …?
One of these is broken.
– Jeden z tych jest zepsuty.
Where can I get a spare one?
– Gdzie mogę znaleźć zapasowy?
It’s making a funny noise.
– To wydaje dziwne dźwięki.
In this phrase, funny means strange. When someone says That’s funny, we sometimes say Do you mean funny peculiar or funny ha-ha?

Now it’s your turn:
What do you think the best response is to each of these problems?

1) You have just come into the office and all the papers on the desk are wet. You look up at the ceiling and see water coming down.

a) Don’t worry. One of my friends is a plumber.
b) Great! Now I can have a day off.
c) Is there a bucket somewhere?

2) You are working on a production line. You need a supply of three items but one of them hasn’t been delivered yet. Your supervisor asks you what the problem is.

a) One of the deliveries is late. What should I do until it arrives?
b) Give me the missing equipment. I can’t do the job yet.
c) Well you run the place. You should know.

3) The job you have involves
using a computer for most
of the time. The trouble is that
the mouse icon is moving in an unusual way. One moment it’s behaving properly and the next
it sticks and doesn’t move at the right speed.

a) There’s something wrong with my mouse. Is there a spare one somewhere in the office?
b) Why is all the equipment in this place so old? Even prisoners have better computers than this.
c) Why don’t we switch to a DOS version of this program?